Thou Shalt Not Steal

I realised today that it wasn't normal to feel okay about stealing in any way.

Don't get me wrong; I don't make a habit of it. But I do love a freebie. Freebies, goody bags and prizes are what keeps me going in life. So, if I do happen to help myself to a packet of Malteezers whilst doing my shopping in Sainsburys, I don't think it's a bad thing, in fact I think we are all winners here; I get some light relief from what is almost always a tiresome chore - especially if Ky is running up and down the aisles, knocking old people over, picking up random inappropriate items along each aisle and begging me to buy them. And Sainsburys, gets to thank me for my regular and valued custom - and they don't have to get all bogged down with paperwork - I've saved them the trouble; they've rewarded me with no trouble on their part. So I've never really thought of this as stealing.

Surprising really. Guilt is one of my favourite emotions. I believe in karma. I hate lying. With just these three characteristics you would never have thought I could have so much fun stealing. Oh lets stop using that word. Stealing! It's so harsh and judgemental. I prefer 'rewarding'.

Sometimes it's necessary to take matters into your own hands. Sainsburys don't have the time or willingness to make me feel like a valued customer. Only yesterday I had to be my own Sainsburys customer service agent. I bought a packet of Tofu, only to come home and discover the sealed packaging had a hole in it and the rest of my shopping was covered in Tofu juice. So, I brought it back to get it exchanged.

I should point out here, the immense gulf of difference between Waitrose and Sainsburys. When you are in Waitrose and you need some help, you only have to raise an eyebrow and someone will immediately rush to your rescue. If say, you can't find an item, a telepathically trained member of staff will appear as if by magic, and will always go the extra mile, to the point where you think they might even offer to pay for it. In Sainsburys, if you are lucky enough to find anyone around to help, you will wonder, by the confused or blank look on their faces when you speak to them, if you have actually made a mistake and you are talking to someone who just likes to wear a Sainsburys uniform and not to someone who has even heard of Sainsburys.

So, when I made my way to the Customer Services desk and found it empty, I waited in line to speak to one of the cashiers about my tofu problem. She said she was unable to perform exchanges and redirected me to the Customers desk. "But there's no-one there" I told her. "Maybe there is now" she offered. "But what if there's still no-one there?" Her head looked as though it was about to explode from this riddle. "Um..then come back to me." I couldn't even bothered to ask her how she would suddenly be bestowed with the ability to exchange a packet of tofu. I went back to the Customer Services desk which now had tumbleweed floating past. So, I thought, I'll just do it myself. Another favour to Sainsburys. Let me save them the trouble, let's cut out the middle man, I'll just put this soggy pack of tofu back on the shelf and pick up this lovely new packet of tofu and walk out. As I was walking out, the cashier I had spoken to was stocking shelves near the exit and eyed me with the tofu in my hand. She glared at me. Her face was saying "I know what you've just done. You're walking out with that packet of tofu without permission." I glared back. My face was saying "I dare you to actually go and find someone who can give a shit enough to come and sort it out then."

So, stealing is not black and white. Personally, I don't think the above experience should be filed anywhere near my other stealing stories, but I did think again when I went on to a parents forum the same night and realised how morally anal some people are. A mother had posted her dilemma. Out shopping with three kids, one of them picks up a dvd, she doesn't realise until she's got them all strapped up in the car. She's asking if it was wrong of her to not have to get all three kids back out of the car and go back in the supermarket to pay for it. There was some mums like me who were like, who cares, keep it, and even yippee, but also some replies like this:

"There really is no excuse. You saw your error, you had the opportunity to correct it. You chose to keep it. That is stealing".

"You could have called the store when you got home and asked them to debit your card, but no you would rather come on here and seek dubious approval for your thieving".

Heavy! It did make me think about how laid back I am about this rewarding yourself business. I don't consider myself a thief because I would never steal a penny off any person, or even small shop/business. But something about supermarkets...but before I start feeling too guilty, let me think of all the rich fat bastards that run Sainsburys and almost certainly write off holidays, designer suits and Jacuzzis as work expenses. Yep, I feel better about the malteezers already.