How Not To Make Play Dough
(as discovered by myself this afternoon).
1. Get two year old child all excited about making play dough. Feel smart about thinking ahead and giving child a preliminary talk about the fact that we are definitely making play dough, to play with, and not biscuits, to eat.
2. Realise you don't have main ingredient, plain flour. Use (expensive) Soya flour instead. Realise you don't have enough salt. Realise your tartar sauce contains big lumps of gherkins, hence why the recipe specified cream of tartar sauce. Realise you don't have vegetable oil, so use olive oil. Start feeling less confident about result considering the only ingredients you have managed to use correctly are the food colouring and boiling water.
3. Mix all ingredients, end up with sloppy mess. Use up all Soya flour and move onto the even more expensive spelt flour. Try not to get irritated when two year old will not let you have a turn in mixing. Do try to ignore two year old's comments about "yummy biscuits".
4. Use up all spelt flour. End up with a lumpy, sticky, gooey, revolting substance not anywhere even close to resembling play dough.
5. Spend ten minutes explaining to whining two year old that this substance will not turn into biscuits. Offer every biscuit you have in the cupboards to child who is still insisting that we are making biscuits.
6. Feel a sense of achievement when two year old child seems to have finally got the message and is peacefully eating a biscuit, deep in thought.
7. Spend another ten minutes explaining to whining two year old why this substance is also not suitable to use as play dough.
8. Chuck substance in the bin when child is not looking and then try to console child who is now fuming because the substance has gone missing.
9. Pull hair out when child looks for it in the bin and finds it there. Spend five minutes persuading child to leave it in there.
10. Make biscuits.
(as discovered by myself this afternoon).
1. Get two year old child all excited about making play dough. Feel smart about thinking ahead and giving child a preliminary talk about the fact that we are definitely making play dough, to play with, and not biscuits, to eat.
2. Realise you don't have main ingredient, plain flour. Use (expensive) Soya flour instead. Realise you don't have enough salt. Realise your tartar sauce contains big lumps of gherkins, hence why the recipe specified cream of tartar sauce. Realise you don't have vegetable oil, so use olive oil. Start feeling less confident about result considering the only ingredients you have managed to use correctly are the food colouring and boiling water.
3. Mix all ingredients, end up with sloppy mess. Use up all Soya flour and move onto the even more expensive spelt flour. Try not to get irritated when two year old will not let you have a turn in mixing. Do try to ignore two year old's comments about "yummy biscuits".
4. Use up all spelt flour. End up with a lumpy, sticky, gooey, revolting substance not anywhere even close to resembling play dough.
5. Spend ten minutes explaining to whining two year old that this substance will not turn into biscuits. Offer every biscuit you have in the cupboards to child who is still insisting that we are making biscuits.
6. Feel a sense of achievement when two year old child seems to have finally got the message and is peacefully eating a biscuit, deep in thought.
7. Spend another ten minutes explaining to whining two year old why this substance is also not suitable to use as play dough.
8. Chuck substance in the bin when child is not looking and then try to console child who is now fuming because the substance has gone missing.
9. Pull hair out when child looks for it in the bin and finds it there. Spend five minutes persuading child to leave it in there.
10. Make biscuits.
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